4. Ice Pack Maxi Pads
You snap them like an ice pack, toss them into your fabulous mesh underpants and get instant relief from muscles that probably did more work than the Roman Army did for the 600-700 years it was really running the show.
We both stood and looked down at the chunk of fingernail I no longer had on my middle finger.
Husband: I don’t know how you do this stuff.
Me: I’m going to need more than one band-aid. Probably the gauzey-type stuff and some tape. [Read more...]
Q: When you look in your baby’s eyes, does all the pain and suffering just melt away like in the movies?
A: No. The first time I looked in my baby’s eyes, I was kind of terrified. Both times.
I reached the thickening before I was pregnant, but that’s less about pregnancy and more about an insatiable love for junk food. A post for another time. In pregnancy, the term “thickening” is the time when your uterus starts to push your belly fat further forward. Thus resulting in an unwanted jiggle that’s more prominent than before. This leaves the woman in an awkward limbo of “is she fat? Or pregnant?”
You cannot stash your small children in the overhead compartment or in your carry on luggage. I don’t think you can. I’ve never actually tried it, but unless your child is wielding a tiny sharp weapon my guess is TSA would probably be fine with it. Let’s be realistic, they don’t exactly employee people with a passion for enforcing airline security. How many TSA agents have you seen throw themselves in front of an x-ray body scanner just because you failed to remove your shoes? [Read more...]
We went to the fair this past weekend. The fair, like Walmart, is always an interesting place to go. And, like Walmart, there’s a lot I don’t really understand about the fair. For example:
1. Turkey Leg On a Stick
These things are ridiculously large. There’s no glamorous way to eat one. I don’t recommend them for first date food. Unless you think smeared grease on your face is sexy.
There are a lot of things about pregnancy most doctors know, and a lot they don’t know. Isn’t that true of any profession? Except maybe working in an ice cream shop, and even then do we really know how the soft serve machine makes the ice cream come out with just the right consistency? No, we don’t.
7. Play everywhere except in the sandbox.
This includes inside trees, under the wheelbarrow, behind the old Christmas tree and trash cans. Unless there’s the threat of another child potentially interested in the sandbox, there’s no need to play with it.
My kids are finally reaching that magical age where they are old enough to do things outside of the house that are not parent-led. Prior to 3-years old I was required to assist my child in gymnastics. Let me reiterate that I wanted to enroll my child, not myself. Basically all that happened was that she didn’t want to do anything structured and all I wanted to do was lay on the mat by myself for 45 minutes.
I’m back home in Portland! Well, sort of. I’m a guest blogger over at my friend Toni’s place. Talking about the differences between my kids.
My oldest stopped eating crayons around the 12 month mark.
My youngest still eats them. She’s two. Last week I changed her diaper and there were actual flecks of multi-colored crayon wax. Making her the first person in our home to actually poop a rainbow. I’m also including the time our cat licked paint.