Mad Parenting Skillz

skillz

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want…I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.

My life as a professional career person at an actual workplace seems like a hazy dream that’s slowly faded over time. I don’t have a long career as a parent, in the words of The Carpenters, I’ve only just begun. Still, parenting years is calculated in dog years. After I add the sick moments, the sleepless nights, the tantrums and the chaos, my four years of parenting is really more like 28 years of parenting–minus the teen years. There’s a nasty rumor going around that time period actually quadruples your years. [Read more...]

Ms. Hormone’s Wild Ride: 6 Pregnancy Hormones You Should Know

hormones

Hormones are what make it all happen during pregnancy. Different hormones are responsible for your onset of crying, rage, then more crying. For no reason. Or stupid reasons, like your ice cream is too hard to scoop. Hormones are responsible for your ability to throw up more times than a room full of college co-eds on New Years Eve. And they’re responsible for the ability to smell a turkey sandwich, from across the street. Then puke some more.  [Read more...]

Week 28: The Third Trimester of Doom

week28post

By the time your due date rolls around, you’ll have about two extra pounds of boobage. Maybe this is super exciting for you, as you’ve never been past a “Nearly B-Cup.” Perhaps it’s distressing to you because you were a B cup when you were six-years-old and by the time you got to high school, they were large enough to terrorize a city in Japan.

Read the rest over at Pregnancy & Newborn’s Knocked Up Blog…